Christian Education

“Happy New Year!!!” That was the recent title for a post on Elizabeth Windsor, our director of Christian education’s blog. This might seem like an unusual thing to be talking about, after all it’s only September. Even with holidays appearing in stores long before the actual holiday approaches (do we really need Halloween candy out already?) it still seems way too early to be discussing the New Year. This is true even if we are discussing the beginning of the church calendar which occurs at the end of November. (This does not apply, of course for our Jewish brothers and sisters who just had the new year)

But, as Elizabeth notes, “those of us with children or who work in academia or in the Church School KNOW that the year really begins in September!!” Even as someone who loves cold weather and is enjoying the recent change in temperatures, I still don’t know where the summer went. Could it really be that summer is over and we are back into normal our routines? So it seems, and so this Sunday we begin our church school year once again.

Our kids are one year older and ready to learn new things, we have new teachers willing to give of their time and talents, we have new members of the Christian Education Commission ready to undertake a new program year, and the staff has another year of experience and new ideas to try and make our program even better than it already is. How are you participating?

Each time we baptize anyone, we as a congregation take a pledge to “surround (the newly baptized person) with a community of love and forgiveness, that they may grow in their trust of God and be found faithful in their service to others.” In addition, through the reception of new members we also “renew our covenant faithfully to participate in the ministries of the church by our prayers, our presence, our gifts, our service and our witness.” One of the ways we fulfill these vows for ourselves and for others is through Christian education.

Christian Education is always looking for volunteers, and while Sunday school teachers are the most visible aspects of the program, there are other ways to be of service. You can help with the pageant, the Barn Sing, entering information into a database, making sure the supply closet is clean, organized and stocked, helping to cover in case someone is sick, helping in the nursery, becoming a God Squad or Club 67 mentor, or volunteering your time in many other ways. There are tasks that occur over a longer period of time and there are tasks that are very time limited. The long and short of it is there are ways for each one of us to give of ourselves.

But, we ask you not only to give of your time and talents, but we also ask that you participate in one of the numerous classes we have scheduled for this year. Last year we had more than 180 adults participate in at least one CornerStones class. Can we beat that number this year? There are lots of different classes being offered, and perhaps if you don’t see something of interest to you, then maybe you might be willing to offer something.

I hope you will join us this Sunday as we celebrate the beginning of the Christian Education year, but don’t let it end there. We hope you will continue to take part in the various programs we have this year through both your participation as a volunteer and your attendance to increase your own knowledge. As Proverbs tells us, the “LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding…”

Conspicuous Consumption

I live in an affluent community. The Land Rover and Bentley dealerships for Boston are here. A BMW dealership was also recently constructed here, and so we are used to seeing people driving around in nice cars. Seeing a BMW, Porsche, Mercedes Benz or Jaguar is no big deal, because they are all over the place, including the parking lot of the church.

But recently I have seen a large uptick in the number of high end vehicles on the road, like Lamborghini’s, Ferrari’s, Rolls Royce’s, a Lotus and even a Maserati. While I have occasionally seen these around, recently it seems like a daily occurrence that I see at least one of these cars, and so I wonder what’s going on.

I have two theories:

The first is the simple one that the economy is doing better, and so people who can afford these cards are out buying and driving them again. But, I also routinely hear that the economy is not doing better, or at least for some people, so I’m not sure this is the full answer.

The second, and maybe more likely answer, is that people are feeling more confident in driving these cars. With the near destruction of our economy led by greedy people from all walks of life, I think it became temporarily unpopular or maybe even dangerous to drive around in such a conspicuous display of wealth. Now that we are a little further away from the collapse people are feeling able to drive these cars around again and so they are being pulled out of the garage and put back on the street.

A third possibility, and one that’s a lot more cynical, is that the people who are driving these cars simply don’t care anymore about what people think. They are doing fine and it doesn’t matter what is going on in the rest of the economy or country and they are going to enjoy themselves simply because they can, and everyone else can just go to %#@^!

Call to Prayer

Here is a statement from the Council of Bishops:

September 11: A Day for Prayer and Peace

As we approach yet another September 11, we are reminded that the world we live in continues to be fragile place where emotions and tensions run high. There are not many of us who will ever forget where we were on that September morning nine years ago. We should never forget those whose lives were taken away in the horror of just a few hours.

September 11 should be, for all of us, a day of prayer for peace in this world. It should be a day for quiet remembrance and reflection as we seek to find and live in the ways of peace. We think of Jesus pausing on his way into the holy city of Jerusalem on the day we call Palm Sunday. He wept over the city – not so much for what was about to happen to him, but because the people did not know the things that make for peace (Luke 19:41-42). We suspect he still weeps, looking out over the world we currently inhabit.

September 11 should be a day of prayer for rebuilding and restoring relationships, and for reaching out to find ways to work and live together in this world. It is not a day for burning the holy book of another faith tradition. Tragically one person has garnered headlines for advocating such a thing. There is nothing of Jesus in such an action. In fact, as we recall, there was a time when the disciples wanted to call down fire from heaven on the perceived enemies for refusing to receive Jesus. No, Jesus said; in fact he “rebuked” those who advocated such a means. (Luke 9:51-55). Such an action is not the way of Jesus, nor the way of peace and love.

There was a meeting earlier this week in Washington, DC, of religious leaders of many faith communities. The United Methodist Church and its Council of Bishops was represented by its Executive Secretary, Bishop Neil L. Irons. The members of the group, in a formal statement, said: “We are committed to building a future in which religious differences no longer lead to hostility or division between communities. Rather, we believe that such diversity can serve to enrich our public discourse about the great moral challenges that face our nation and our planet. On the basis of our shared reflection, we insist that no religion should be judged on the words or actions of those who seek to pervert it through acts of violence; that politicians and members of the media are never justified in exploiting religious differences as a wedge to advance political agendas or ideologies... We work together on the basis of deeply held and widely shared values, each supported by the sacred texts of our respective traditions. We acknowledge with gratitude the dialogues between our scholars and religious authorities that have helped us to identify a common understanding of the divine command to love one’s neighbor. Judaism, Christianity and Islam all see an intimate link between faithfulness to God and love of neighbor; a neighbor who in many instances is the stranger in our midst. “

“We are convinced that spiritual leaders representing the various faiths in the United States have a moral responsibility to stand together and to denounce categorically derision, misinformation or outright bigotry directed against any religious group in this country. Silence is not an option. Only by taking this stand, can spiritual leaders fulfill the highest calling of our respective faiths, and thereby help to create a safer and stronger America for all of our people.” **
We urge all of us to approach the remembrance of September 11 in prayer and hope for peace; and in resolving to do everything we can individually and collectively to live the way of Jesus. It is our prayer that this weekend be filled with prayers and not the fires of hatred and irrational rage.

Bishop Larry M. Goodpaster
President, Council of Bishops

Bishop Neil L. Irons
Executive Secretary, Council of Bishops

A full statement from the interfaith group can be found here.

In addition, the Mass Council of Churches has a petition called "To Bigotry, No Sanction. To Persecution, No Assistance" calling for an end to the anti-Islamic rhetoric currently being used. I invite you to sign it as you are called. Currently there are more than 2500 signatories, I am #147.

Country Music

I'm not a big fan of most of the stuff that is being called country music these days, and spend most of my time listening to "classic country." As Linda hears what her students are listening to she will bring in different songs for them to hear. Last night she asked me what song or artist I would recommend if people wanted to know what classic country sounded like.

My first question was how she was defining classic country, to which she responded that it was however I wanted it to be defined. That didn’t really narrow it down, but the answer was easy. I would start with Hank Williams (the original, not Jr or the III) and then Patsy Cline.

Hank Williams – Lovesick Blues, Your Cheatin Heart, or I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry
Patsy Cline – Crazy, Walkin After Midnight, Back in My Baby’s Arms

While she agreed with that she said that on the spectrum of country music from classic to modern, they were on the “extreme” and might scare some people away, so who would I recommend that’s a little more to the “center.”

That was a little more difficult, and I think you would have to go into the 70’s or early 80’s. So I did a little thinking and looking through my collection and here’s what I came up with for places to start listening to classic country. These are not necessarily the best songs by these artists, but provide a jumping off point (they are also in no particular order):

Johnny Cash – Folsom Prison Blues
Kenny Rogers – Lucille
Dolly Parton – Coat of Many Colors
Loretta Lynn – Coal Miner’s Daughter
Roger Miller – King of the Road
Tammy Wynette – I Don’t Wanna Play House
Willie Nelson – Momma Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To be Cowboys
Tom T. Hall – Faster Horses
Glen Campbell – Dreams of an Everday Housewife
Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings – Pancho and Lefty or Seven Spanish Angels
George Strait – Marina Del Rey, Amarillo by Morning, Ocean Front Property or All My Ex’s Live in Texas
Don Williams – I Believe in You, Good Ole Boys Like Me or If Hollywood Don’t Need You
Barbara Mandell – I Was Country When Country Wasn’t Cool

Change

It seems hard to believe, but the summer is nearly over. Some schools have already opened and the rest will resume next week. Our kids have all moved up a grade, and we adults have progressed another year as well.

Pastor Joel returns this week from his well deserved three-month sabbatical during which he spent part of his time studying worship trends throughout the country. The staff will be meeting with him later in the week to bring him up-to-date on what happened here over the past three months, and for him to bring us up-to-date on what he discovered.

Pastor Joel decided to focus on worship during his sabbatical because it was the only area of the five identified by our strategic planning process three years ago that hasn’t really made any progress (the other four areas are conflict management, youth in crisis, adult education, and local outreach). And so Pastor Joel was hoping that in taking on this work, we as a congregation might make be able to look at this topic together. He will be making a presentation to the various commissions who handle these issues and to the rest of the congregation later in the fall.

I know this has caused anxiety on the part of some, and they have wondered what, if anything, will be changed. As pastors we are well aware that many of the things we do in the church are so called “third rails” and we touch them at our own peril. But we also realize that sometimes, in order to grow individually and collectively, change is necessary.

I have been doing some reading lately on traditions and rituals for both everyday events and for significant transitions. Sometimes traditions and rituals run their course and they are no longer as effective as they once were. I’m sure that if you have children then you have had a ritual for putting them to bed, but that ritual has changed over time. Linda and I cannot put Samantha or Abigail to bed now the way we did when they were infants, nor will we be able to put them to bed in a few years the way we are doing it now. Rituals, and even traditions, change as people change. That is one of the rules of life.

Sometimes people want to hold on to things simply because “that’s the way it’s always been done.” In the Protestant tradition we do not hold that tradition is an important enough reason to keep something in place if it is no longer theologically necessary. Sometimes that means we remove it, other times we come up with new theological reasons for doing the same thing, and sometimes we create new rituals and traditions.

I don’t know what changes will be adopted by this congregation, but I do ask that as they are presented that we all keep an open mind and if you have a negative reaction ask yourself why you are feeling that way. Is it just a reaction to change, with which all of us struggle, or is there something deeper?

There is nothing in the church that wasn’t new at some point, and our traditions and rituals vary from denomination to denomination, and even from church to church. When I moved to New England I had to learn a new way of being Methodist. Even though it doesn’t always seem like it, the simple fact is the church is always changing because God is always calling us to do new things and to reach new people. So together let us pray for God’s guidance to give us the answers and to move us in the direction that God needs and wants us to go.

Digging Dry Wells

Here is my sermon from Sunday. The text was Jeremiah 2:4-13.

“Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine, I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine, and he always had some mighty fine wine. Sing it with me joy to the world, all the boys and girls now, joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea and joy to you and me.”

That gets my singing portion out early, While Jeremiah might not be a bullfrog, he was a prophet and therefore not understanding a single word he says might is probably right on target. In Christian Bibles there are two categories of prophets, there are major prophets and minor prophets. This categorization, which is not done in Judaism, is not based on importance or even message, but instead is based on length. Isaiah, Jeremiah, Daniel and Ezekiel are the four major prophets; they are much longer than the twelve minor prophets. But, of all of the prophets, the longest is Jeremiah. In fact, only the book of Psalms is longer than Jeremiah. And if the Book of Lamentations was also written by Jeremiah, which is the tradition, then his writings constitute an even bigger portion. So we have one of the largest amounts of the Bible written by just one person but we do not spend a lot of time hearing from Jeremiah. In fact, I suspect that many of you have probably never heard a sermon preached from Jeremiah’s text.

Imagine if we did the same thing and ignored the writings of Paul. We would not only be missing a large chunk of the scripture we use on a regular basis but we would be missing a large piece of God’s message for us. So why don’t we hear a lot from Jeremiah? I believe there are several reasons for this. The first is that except for Isaiah which has the passages which have been interpreted as predicting the coming of Christ we don’t really deal well with the Prophets. In a quick search through the lectionary this week, most of the prophets are only included a few times in the three year lectionary cycle. Jeremiah only appears twelve times, and lamentations only once. Ezekiel has three readings, and Daniel has only one. Of the minor prophets, with only a few exceptions, they all only appear once.

The prophets are hard to hear. We don’t like to come to church and feel like we are being beaten upside the head with a baseball bat, and so preachers don’t want to preach on these subjects and most congregations don’t want to hear about them.

Last week’s passage from Jeremiah would have been a nice and easy one to preach on. You may or may not remember last week’s passage from Jeremiah, but it is his call story. God tells Jeremiah that he is going to be sent out to give the people God’s message, and Jeremiah tries to beg off by saying that he is only a young boy and he doesn’t have the words to speak. This is a common excuse used by people in the bible in order to try and get away from God. Moses also used this ploy, but just like with Moses it didn’t work for Jeremiah either. Instead God tells Jeremiah that God has known him and had a plan for him since he was in his mother’s womb and God will give him the words he needs to say, so all he has to do is follow God’s lead. That is a nice easy passage with a nice easy message: God knows you and has a plan for your life. That is why this is often the one passage chosen be preachers so that they can say they preached on Jeremiah without actually having to preach on the Jeremiah.

But today’s passage is not as touchy feely or as easy as that one.
This was actually not my first choice when I began thinking about today’s service. I had originally settled on doing something on gospel passage, but on my third reading of today’s passages I foolishly decided that we should hear from Jeremiah. Today’s passage is one of those ones that’s tough to hear and in approaching it we either have to say that it only had something to do to those whom Jeremiah was addressing and nothing to do with us, or we must admit that although we stand hear more than 2500 years later that it still speaks to us. I’m sure that you can probably guess what my position is.

There are a lot of questions about Jeremiah, who he was and when he began his work as a prophet. Everything we know about Jeremiah comes to us out of his writings. We are told that he came from a priestly family, who were also landowners and he grew up in a town just to the north of Jerusalem. He begins his ministry early in his life, and we are told that his first prophecy comes in the thirteenth year of king Josiah, which would be the year 627 BCE. While many scholars accept that dating, others say there are significant problems with that date.

Josiah instituted a significant reform in Judah seeking to purify the faith again after the people had strayed away from God. These are known as the Deuteronomic reforms because the Book of Deuteronomy is reported to be found in the temple in Jerusalem during a renovation and Josiah reinstitutes the law, cleanses the Temple and the people and together they recovenant themselves to God. This was a very significant event in the life of Judea, but Jeremiah’s writings shown no signs of this reform taking place. Instead what we hear from Jeremiah is the very same indictments of the people and their leaders that led Josiah to make his reforms. Interestingly, Jeremiah also references both Israel and Judah in his prophecies.

Now we normally think of Israel being synonymous with the promised land including the Jerusalem. However, Israel in the Hebrew scriptures applies almost exclusively to the northern kingdom which contained ten of the twelve tribes. But, Israel had been destroyed by the Assyrians in 722 BCE. Judah is the southern kingdom, which contains Jerusalem, so when you hear Israel that is the Northern Kingdom and when you hear Judah that is the Southern Kingdom. So if the dating of Jeremiah is correct, Israel has been gone for more than 100 years. Some have speculated that Jeremiah may have been working while the northern kingdom was still in existence, few accept that. I think the more likely scenario is that Jeremiah is prophesying after Josiah’s reforms have already been tried and failed and he references Israel in order to emphasize the point, by saying “you know what happened to the northern kingdom, and if you don’t repent then the same thing will happen to you.”

This is a time of enormous stress and strain in Judah. They are being pushed by the Babylonians to the north and the Egyptians to the south, and they sit right in the middle of this power struggle of empires. Under the leadership of king Nebuchadnezzar the Babylonians put on siege on Jerusalem and take the capital city in 597. While the people try and hold out, relying upon their cisterns to provide them with their water supply, are you hearing the connections, they cannot hold and the Babylonians breach the walls and take many of the leaders into exile. After several smaller revolts, the Babylonians get tired of having to deal with the Jews and in 586 they again take Jerusalem, destroy the temple and take a much larger group into exile.

Now it’s hard for us to understand what this meant for Judaism. The temple was the cultural, political, religious and economic center of the society. Now 9/11 obviously has deep resonance for us, and that was what these events where like for Judah, only greatly magnified. Now imagine if instead of just losing the world trade center, instead 9/11 destroyed all of new York city, as the economic center, and all of Washington DC as the political center, and all of Hollywood as the cultural center, along with every church, and you can begin to understand the magnitude of what is taking place. That is the background under which Jeremiah is prophesying.

“Thus says the Lord” begins Jeremiah’s prophecy, and marks the beginning of all prophetic words. In scripture it is what separates God’s words from the words of mere mortals and it is the indication that a prophet is speaking. “Thus says the Lord,” says Jeremiah, God remembers the early days when everything was good, but then you went astray. You began to believe that you were responsible for the good things happening and you began to put your reliance and trust in things other than God, you began to rely on worthless things and as a result became worthless yourselves. You tried to draw your resources from worthless sources, and instead of drawing water from the source of life you have been trying to drink from broken cisterns. Because you are not seeking God, you are digging dry wells, and in the desert without water there is only death. “Therefore I accuse you says the Lord.”

What we are hearing from Jeremiah is a legal charge being made against the people and, most importantly, their leaders including the priests. This is the indictment being read and it follows the pattern of the ancient near east where there has been a violation of a covenant, especially between a sovereign and the people. Remember that I said that under Josiah he had had the people renew their covenant relationship with God. God is saying the covenant I had made with you has been violated, but not by me. Instead it is you who have not held up your end of the agreement. God has fulfilled what God has promised and God has been faithful, but the people have not, and as a result consequences will come. God is making it very clear that no one can say “we didn’t know” or “our pastor didn’t tell us this,” or “our pastor was more concerned with other things God, he had us sing BINGO in worship service, it’s not our fault, blame him.” God is making it clear that everyone should know what was expected and to know about God.

But although we are told in chapter one that Jeremiah is being sent, “to pluck up and to pull down, to destroy and to overthrow,” he is also being sent “to build and to plant.” God’s indictment does not say “you have done all these things wrong, so to hell with you I’m going to punish you and then go find someone else.” Instead God is saying you have transgressed, but here is the simple remedy, repent, turn around and come back, stop trying to get water out of broken cisterns, stop digging your own wells which will always be dry, instead return to me, come back to the living water, come back to God. While the word of grace is not the first thing they hear from Jeremiah, because they have strayed too far, it is the word of grace that comes, and one of the easy solutions is for them to again start asking one simple question: “Where is the Lord?” That, we are told, is what the people had stopped asking, and as a result they stopped telling the story to their children and they were led astray.

Jeremiah’s message is just as relevant for us today as it was for the people who first heard it. If you remember nothing else from today’s sermon or worship service, I want you to remember this, so you can write this down in your sermon notes, the question to ask is “Where is God?” Individually we should be asking “Where is God in my career?” “Where is God in my family?” “Where is God in my school work?” “Where is God in my needs and wants?” When we lose this question, when we stop seeking and looking for where God is and what God is guiding us towards then we are bound to start looking for other things to replace God, and we are told when we replace God with worthless things then we too become worthless. But we also need to make sure we are asking the same thing in the church. “Where is God in the church?” “Where is God in this program?” and even “Where is God in this worship service and sermon?” When we start digging our own wells instead of relying on the living water then we will invariably come up dry.

The church universal is facing some serious issues in this country, and there are lots of people looking for the magic bullet which will solve all of our problems. In regards to the Methodist church, one recent book said “restoration is the answer because it is unthinkable that God would abandon the institutionalized churches in America as they compromise the vast majority – up to 90% -- of the Christians in this country.” In hearing God’s words as spoken to us through Jeremiah I don’t think it is unthinkable at all, because if we have abandoned God, if we have stopped asking the question “Where is the lord?”

If we have stopped giving our allegiance to God, if we have stopped teaching our children, if we have begun trying to dig our own wells because we think we can do it alone, then God will look for those who will be loyal. As Dietrich Bonheoffer said there is no cheap grace, grace comes with responsibilities and obligations. God will uphold the promises made to us, but in return we must also uphold our promises, promises we take and remember every time we celebrate the sacrament of baptism, and a promise to drink from the living water, not from the dry wells we try and dig with our own hands because we will find no water there, and in the desert without water there is only death.

God sends Jeremiah with a message that is to both pull down and to build up, to destroy and to plant. That is God’s justice and mercy. God does not say “you have violated the covenant, so go to hell,” both literally and figuratively. Instead God says, “You have violated the covenant, so come back. Come back to me. Come back to the living water. Stop trying to dig your own wells, stop trying to drink from empty festering cisterns, and come back to me. I will give you water; I will quench your thirst. Come back to me and be my people and I will be your God. Come back to me, come back to me.” May it be so. Amen.

Family Leave For All

David Cameron, the British prime minister, has just announced that he will be taking paternity leave to spend time with his wife and new daughter. Under British law, new fathers are entitled to two weeks paid time off.

First of all our congratulations to he and his wife. It's their fourth child, and I simply cannot imagine. Two is more than enough. At least with two you can do man-to-man defense. With more than that you're having to run zone and that's just not as effective.

Second, hooray for him taking the time off! This is an enormous step in the right direction. Can you image in the president, speaker of the house or majority/minority leader taking time off to be with their new child? Not likely, and that is the true tragedy. (In fairness, Tony Blair also did not take time off with the birth of one of his children, although he did cut back his schedule.)

While in poll after poll most men say they would like to take extended time off after the birth or adoption of a new child, few actually do it. There is still an at least perceived stigma against this in our society. Many men are concerned that their companies will not look at them as favorably as before and will believe they are not as dedicated to their jobs, and hence to the company, as other employees.

While there have been some women's organizations that have pushed for paid leave for men, the support has not been as strong as I believe it should be. Because not only does this benefit men and their connection with their families, it also benefits women. Until men are just as likely to take time off because of pregnancy, until men as just as likely to stay at home with a sick child, and until men are seen by their employers as just as important to their families as women are, then there will always be employers who are going to prefer hiring males so they can avoid all of these issues. (Let's remember is was only 90 years ago yesterday that women were given the constitutional right to vote.)

I was very fortunate to be able to spend time with both of my daughters after they were born. The first because I was just completing my degree and so was only working part-time which allowed me to be home during the day with her. The second because I was a member of a union and so was provided four weeks of paid leave to be with her and my wife. While I did find that most other men also took some time off, I was the only one who took all four weeks at once. Most others just lightened their work loads, or only took a couple of weeks. That obviously is not an option for new moms, and so it is very important for men to take the time when they can get it. That is why this is an incredibly important move for Cameron to make.

This is an enormous step in the right direction. Cameron has now said to the rest of the males in England that it is okay to take time off. If the PM can do it, certainly they can do it, and everyone will benefit from that move.

Paid time off is an issue that the church should take very seriously and we should be advocates for equal treatment and also for greater flexibility, accountability and for longer periods of time.

New Liturgies

There has been some discussion taking place for a while now about the need for the church to create new liturgies and rituals to mark new milestones in people's lives. In the recent past I have had the need to find liturgies for things like the dedication of a church library or the beginning of a sabbatical, but without any luck. I know there are people who are gifted at writing liturgies and prayers, but unfortunately that is not one of my graces.

Recently I have been searching for other liturgies that might be added to our services, like the blessing of new drivers, or the sending off of those going away to college. But, I have not been able to find any Christian sites or books that contain these things. I found a fantastic Jewish website (ritualwell.org), and many of their rituals can be adapted, but there has to be a good mainline Christian site out there doesn't there? Does anyone know of a good site that contains liturgies for special occasions, or perhaps multiple sites that contain a few? If not, maybe we need to create one.

I'm Here, Ask Me

I am a young pastor. I have a young family. I am in the target demographic the church is supposedly trying to target, yet I have never been asked by anyone in a higher position of authority what I would like to see the church do/become. Why is that?

I have certainly heard a lot from these people (who are all at least 20 years older than I am) about what I should be doing and what my generation wants, but where are they getting this information?

While I cannot speak for my entire generation, very little of what I hear is actually appealing to me. Most of the "magic bullets" I have heard about from the top will not be effective with me or my friends. So it's little wonder to me that most of these ideas fail at hitting their target.

I routinely hear that we need to have a contemporary service, by which they mean having a praise/rock band. That's certainly not what I want in a service. First of all I have never actually seen a contemporary service that I have thought was done well. I know they are out there, but I haven't seen it yet. Second, if you attend such a service look around at who is there and who seems to be getting the most out of it. In my experience it's 40-year-old white women. While they are just as deserving of receiving the word of God, that is not really the major target audience for most churches. Third, while I do have Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and other rock bands in my cd collection and I do listen to them, that is not what I listen to most of the time. Now if you want to do a country service, that I might be interested in attending.

But the real point is that my life is chaotic and noisy outside of church. When I go to church I need to be able to find some quiet space and time. I don't need more noise. Does that mean we don't sing more "contemporary" songs, no we certainly can, but putting a rock band in the chancel is not attractive to me as a worship option.

I attended a conference in January and during the worship service, they of course had their rock bands playing and the music was so loud that I left not full of the Holy Spirit but with a headache. I actually stopped going to the services because I couldn't take it.

So do you know what it takes to attract people of my generation and those with young children? You don't unless you actually take the time to ask them, to truly hear what they have to say and then be prepared to do something about it. So here I am, ask me...

Congress Taking a Stand

Okay, I tried to stay away from the Roger Clemens issue for a while now, but I just can’t do it. In case you don’t pay attention to these things, last week Roger Clemens was indicted on charges of perjury in his testimony to Congress. And all I can think is, are you kidding me? I’m glad that some members of Congress took time away from their incredibly busy schedules to pursue this.

I know how much work it takes to make sure we pass legislation that makes sure that people who declare bankruptcy cannot have their guns repossessed, because I know that making sure people under enormous stress and experiencing one of the worst situations in their lives can keep their weapons is priority number one. I think we should have added an amendment to give them free ammo for all those declaring bankruptcy so they don’t have to worry about that expense.

I know that making sure that a bill that would provide medical care to all our emergency workers who worked at ground zero wasn’t passed because the Republicans wanted to make sure that no funds would go to illegal immigrants took a lot of time.

And I know that they are so busy that they literally passed a bill entitled “The _____ Act of _____.” (You can’t make this stuff up.)

So even with all of this incredibly important stuff going on, I’m glad they took time out to make sure that Roger Clemens is taken to task. What more pressing issue can there possibly be? After all, Clemens must be taught a lesson for allegedly lying to congress. He certainly must not get away with this.

What Clemens did, after all, is much worse than the heads of big tobacco saying under oath that they don’t spike their cigarettes or that tobacco is not addictive. Clemens alleged untruths must be worse because these people were never brought up on charges of perjury. Clemens must be worse than auto administrators who have lied about the safety of their vehicles, or drug companies doing the same thing, or the last administration lying about intelligence, or heaven forbid all of the members of the financial community who have said things under oath that were patently not true. Obviously all of those things are not as important as the issue of steroids and so we must make an example of Clemens.

As long as Congress is wasting their time, and the time of their federal prosecutors, let me suggest a few laws they might better spend their time passing:

• Recording artists cannot release a greatest hits album until the tenth anniversary of their first song reaching the charts, or after having released a minimum of five albums in seven years. I’m tired of seeing a band releasing a greatest hits album after only their second mediocre album is out. (And yes I know they actually aren’t albums anymore but you can’t really call them CD’s either since I buy almost all my music as MP3s, so I’m sticking with the tried and true).

• All movies released on DVD must come with a director’s commentary. And if the movie scores below 40% approval on rottentomatoes.com the commentary must also include an explanation from the director why they created such a terrible film and an apology for wasting two hours of our life.

• Any person who talks about protecting their Constitutional rights must be forced to read the actual Constitution so they have some idea what they are talking about.

• Any state that has a death penalty must also institute similar laws for white collar criminals and state executions must be done in equal numbers. One state execution of a black man for killing a white person must be equaled by the death of a white banker/corporate exec, etc., who stole money from someone else, often those who can least afford it, like the minority communities.

• Everyone who takes Labor Day off must donate ten dollars to the labor union movement (a list can be stipulated). This does not apply if they are already a union member.

• Every corporation that donates any money to a political candidate, party, or PAC must list each and every donation and amount in at least 14 pt font on the first page of their website, on every public document released, in every commercial they run, on the bottom of their screen if they are a television station, and on their receipts if they are a retail business. For punishment for failure to comply with the law, the CEO could be subject to the penalty discussed above.

• M. Night Shyamalan must be forced to admit that The Sixth Sense was a fluke, movie studios and promotion departments have to stop making a big deal of his films, and everyone else must stop wondering when he is going to put out another good film. He's put out six already, our "sixth sense" should be telling us it is not going to happen.

• Sports announcers must stop saying RBIs. The acronymn is either run batter in or runs batted in. It is already plural, so you don't need to say it again. Yesterday, Robinson Cano had 6 RBI, he did not have 6 RBIs, just as on Saturday, Derek Jeter had 1 RBI.

• Television stations cannot increase the volume of their broadcast when commercials come on. The sound must be consistent for both the television show and the commercials. For possible penalties, see above.

• Airlines must be required to post what they charge for each checked bag on the first page of their websites. Have you ever tried to find this information on their site? It's nearly impossible.

• Daylight savings time must be eliminated.