Paul is doing something very similar in the passage we heard this morning. Because although we often hear this passage used in weddings, and I’ve done it myself many times, Paul is saying in this passage that really don’t have anything to do with the love we think about revolving around weddings. The first thing he is doing is rebuking the Corinthian community. There are some who think they are better than others because of the spiritual gifts they have received, with those who speak in tongues seeming to think themselves at the top of the spiritual gifts hierarchy, which means not only that they are the best, but that others are below them, which is why he talks about the fact that every part of the body is necessary, that no part is greater or lesser than the other. And then he says that even if you can talk in tongues, and you are extremely generous and you have faith to move mountains and can prophecy, which means you are talking to God, but if you don’t have love, if you are not living in love, then you have nothing, you are nothing and you gain nothing. As important as those things are, without love they are worthless.
Now as we have talked about before, there are four primary
Greek words that were used for love. One is eros, which is a passionate,
physical love, which actually never appears in the New Testament. Then there is
philia, which is love for friends, think of Philadelphia, which means brotherly
love. The next is storge, which is a more rarely used word, and it is usually
reserved for the feelings people in families have for each other. The final
word is agape. This is the word used to describe God’s love for us, and also
the word typically used when we talk about that we are to love one another.
It’s not just a feeling of love, but a sacrificial, giving love, which is also
why this word is sometimes used to describe a parent’s love for a child. It’s
giving of ourselves for someone else. Thomas Aquinas said this love is "to
will the good of another.” That means not just to seek it or to hope for it,
but to work to actually bring it about. When the first letter of John says that
God is love, it is agape that is being used, God giving God’s self for others.
When the gospel of love says that God so loved the world, it is agape that is
being used, God willing good for us and bringing it into being. When Jesus says
there is no greater love than this, to lay down your life for your friends,
that is agape love, in this case literally giving yourself for others.
When Paul is talking about love, it is agape love, it is
about giving ourselves, and so it makes sense that Paul says that love is
patient and love is kind, positive aspects which are again fruit of the Spirit,
and then he turns to what love is not. Love is not envious or boastful or
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable
or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the
truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures
all things. Love never ends. So, if we pay special attention to that list of
what love is not, we might be able to summarize it by saying that love is not
self-centered, it is not self-serving, it is not self-absorbed, it is not
self-seeking, it is not self-regarding, love is about others. That is love is
communitarian not individualistic. Love is only found in relationship, and it
can only function properly in relation with others, and thinking not of
ourselves. As DH Lawrence once said, “You cannot worship love and
individualism.” They are incompatible, and I can say from my own personal
experience, which I’m sure you can agree, when love fails, when love breaks
it’s because one person, or maybe even both people, or other people, are
thinking more about themselves, or only about themselves rather than about
others. Because love is about thinking less ourselves and thinking more of
others, which is a large part of Paul’s message in first Corinthians. Paul is
telling this community, which is in turmoil, in division, sound familiar, that
the antidote that will solve their problems is love, because love never asks
“what’s in it for me?” It never emphasizes individual rights. Instead it talks
about and is concerned about responsibilities and duties and asks “what’s best
for you?” “What would help you?”
And so think about the story we hear about Joseph in today’s
gospel passage. We are told that Joseph is a righteous man, which in a Jewish
context means that he follows the commands and laws of God, and yet it is so
much more here. Because we are told that when he finds out that Mary is
pregnant, before they have been married, and he knows he’s not the father,
there are lots of things he can do, including calling for Mary to be killed,
and yet we are told that he has decided to put her away quietly. That is he is
acting favorably on her behalf, and thinking about what’s best for Mary in a
situation in which he cannot be very happy. He is acting in love, willing the
best for Mary, even before he is visited by an angel. And so I think that his
righteousness is not that he follows the law, but that he acts and lives in
love. He desires mercy rather than sacrifice, love over law. And therefore he
cannot fall into self-righteousness because love and self-righteousness cannot
go together. And so we see in the birth of Christ not just God’s love, God’s
self-giving being acted out, but we even see it in Joseph’s love and
self-giving towards Mary and towards Jesus.
And so love is something quite extraordinary. What I tell
couples I am marrying, if they are using this passage, is that while it might
not be believable in that moment of being married, but there will come a time
in their relationship when they can’t stand each other, and maybe even think
that they don’t love each other anymore. But, that does not mean that love is
not there, because love is not actually dependent upon of them. Love is not
dependent upon us. That’s why Paul says that faith, hope and love abide, but
that the greatest of these is love, because as he already said, love never
ends. Faith and hope have some dependency upon us. We can lose faith and we can
even lose hope and not have them present for us anymore, but we cannot lose
love because love exists outside of us and is not reliant upon us, because God
is love. We are not told that God believes, or even that God hopes, but we are
told that God loves and that God is love. And therefore God is also relational.
We see that relationship first between God the father, God the son and God the
Holy Spirit, existing as three in one and one in three. And so God’s being and
loving are tied into God’s very existence. And then there is the love and relationship
that God extends to us, most especially through the person of Christ, but also
through love in general. We love, as the first letter of John says, because God
first loved us. And we learn to give because of what God has given. And because
we are made in the image of God, that means that we are made to love and we are
made to give.
And so in this season in which we prepare to celebrate the greatest gift that the world has ever received, and we practice the art of giving and receiving gifts, we have to remember the irony that the one gift that lasts forever, besides for fruit cake, is love, and it is the one thing that we cannot keep for ourselves. It must be given to others and can only be found in relationship with others. We are called to love as God has loved, and God’s love is steadfast and endures forever. And so God’s command to us is simple, love. And what does this love look like? The New Testament is quite clear that it is Christ. Simply place Christ in this passage wherever you find love, and you will find it explains and shows who Christ is and what Christ does. And Christ tells us to love God and love one another, not as a special feeling, but as a way of acting, a way of being, a way of living, for the spiritual gifts we have, and the gifts we give and receive, will not last, but love will, for faith, hope and love abide, these three. But the greatest of these is love. I know that it is so my brothers and sisters. Amen.
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