Monday, May 15, 2023

Do Not Worry

Here is my message from Sunday. The text was Matthew 6:25-34:

I want everyone to close their eyes, and don’t worry, nothings going to happen. And I want everyone, as we recently sang, to take a deep breath and relax your shoulders and neck, let the tension start to flow out, and I want you to picture a calm nature scene. It could be the beach, or the mountains, or a rain forest, or a desert, or the ocean. Picture something peaceful. Got that in your mind? Now, don’t think of an elephant. And now of course what just happened? And you can open your eyes. Most of you instantly thought of an elephant. And the same thing might happen, and does for some people, if you start a statement with “now, I have to tell you something, but don’t worry…” what do we instantly do? We start to worry, and so as we have been making our way through the things Jesus tells us not to do, today we move onto the injunction do not worry. Now my beautiful wife, the mother of our wonderful three daughters, asked me what I was going to be preaching on after Easter and I told her that we were going to be looking at things Jesus told us not to do. She then asked what I was going to do for Mother’s Day, and when I told her she said “you can’t do that. Worrying is what mothers do. It’s who we are and what we’re known for. Do you think that’s a good idea to tell mothers not to worry?” and I told her I did, and I’ve been worried about it ever since. And so, if you think that I have made a terrible mistake with this injunction for this morning, please tell Linda that she was right and you will have given her the best Mother’s Day gift she could receive.

Now when we think about this command so not worry, it’s just like we talked about last week when we looked at the injunction not to judge, we treat that as if there’s a period that follows it. But that’s not the case here. There’s not even a comma, like there was after do not judge, but instead the thought simply continues strait on. Three times the phrase do not worry is used in this passage and none of the times does it stand by itself. And, just like with the other nots we have looked at, Jesus is not actually saying not to worry about anything. There are some things we should probably worry about, as Jesus says in the last line, “today’s trouble is enough for today.” so, moms, please know that some worrying, or some anxiety is okay. Those things are not sins, as some preachers might lead you to believe. It’s a matter of what we are worrying about and why. I had a mother at one of the churches I serve whose son was an army officer who was trained in defusing bombs who told me that when he was sent to Afghanistan that she finally understood the Apostle Paul’s injunction to pray without ceasing. And so, she worried about him, a lot, which is completely understandable, and that is related to today because there is a strong anti-war background to the creation of Mother’s Day as a holiday.

And so, Jesus says, the first time, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink or about your body, what you will wear.” That is there are specific things given here. Of course, for us, if we were to add don’t worry about what you will drive, and possibly a few others, we’ve just wiped out all advertisements and our entire economy, which is driven by these very things. I mean how are we possibly supposed to judge people, if we were to ever judge, without it being based upon what they eat, drink, wear or drive? I mean if we add in what jobs people do, we’d be completely lost. After all, we are constantly being bombarded by the message that to be truly happy, to be truly worthy, that we need to be buying these things, or doing these things, and then when we get them all our worries will go away, right? And if you don’t have them, then there’s something wrong. And then we when add in the pharmaceutical industry telling us that we should talk to our doctors about that disease you had never even knew existed, but that you might have, but don’t worry because you just need to take this fuscia pill and it will be solved, although don’t pay attention to the side effects, which could include things like death. Or it’s the add on the local television saying “this every day thing could be killing you, story at 11.” And so, with all of that we might say “don’t worry? How can we not worry?” and that’s then part of the reason for the title of this series is that it causes us to tie ourselves into knots with worry.

But, perhaps we’ll say, “well that’s ridiculous, of course I don’t worry about those things because they’re all trivial and simple advertising tricks. But the things I worry about are really important.” But again, it’s not about the worrying per se, but what it means for us and what it’s gaining us. Because Jesus says, what is your worrying getting you? Are you adding any more time to your life because of your worry? And the answer to that is no, and through excessive worry and anxiety you might actually be shortening your life, to which some will say, “great, now I have one more thing to worry about.” So, what do we think we gain by worry? And that’s not a hypothetical question, because if we can actually answer that then we might be a step closer to trying to get rid of it. And sometimes the real answer might simply be that you like to worry and you like the anxiety it produces, as ridiculous as that sounds. But it has to be feeding something, and if we can say that it’s not actually giving me anything useful, then we can work on getting rid of it. And another way to ask this is, at the end of your life will it have done you any good to worry as much as you did? Again, this is not to deny that there are some things to worry about, there are troubles we face, but the truth is that for most things we worry about it won’t matter next week, or a year from now, let alone at the end of our lives. And you know how I know this is true? From mothers.

If a child comes crying to their mother, what’s the first thing mothers ask? “what’s wrong.” And then they get some answer, sometimes they have to decipher it through snotty tears, and then, and I’m not going to say it never happens, but I have never heard a mom say “wow, that’s really serious, you should worry about that.” Could happen, but not often. Instead they say something to validate the feelings, and then “it will be okay.” And depending on the reason, like a skinned knee they’ll add, “should I kiss it an make it better.” They don’t dismiss the hurt, pain, worry, but they redirect it to other things, or they deal with trying to fix it, and moms are really good at this, the more serious the situation, the calmer and more collected they are. It’s a mom superpower. And so, when it comes to worry, it might be the difference between a predicament and a problem. A problem has a solution to it, and therefore while it may be worrying it’s about the unknowns that we get worked up over, but we can work to solve the problem and therefore our worry should be reduced or eliminated. A predicament, on the other hand, does not have any solutions to it; it just is. And so, if you can’t solve it, if you can’t fix it, then why worry about it? There’s nothing you can do and the worry is not going to add a single more moment to your life Jesus says. And then back to that last line, “don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”  The way I like to think about this is that Leo Durocher, the irascible manager for the then Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants, when asked about not using some of his bullpen pitchers in order to make sure they were available to pitch the next day said “You can’t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow it might rain.” So, we need to focus on the here and now, and what God is doing in the here and now, not on some distant future involving things we cannot know.

The Sunday after Easter, our youth group did an excellent job in talking about what is called the Serenity Prayer, including a play by two great actors, my daughters. The prayer is attributed to theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, not to be confused with his brother Richard or sister Hulda, both also theologians. But the beginning of the prayer is with which most of us are familiar. It says “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”  But the prayer doesn’t end there. Instead, it continues, “Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.  Amen.”  And so, as I read that, Niebuhr is saying what I’ve been emphasizing, worry about the things you actually have some control over, don’t worry about the others, and put your trust in God that God will take care of it all.  We hear the same thing in Paul’s letter to the Philippians, which contains the only other reference in the New Testament to worry, and he says “Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

And so, notice what Paul puts in place of worry. The first is prayer and supplication. Go to God with your prayers, concerns, and worries. It’s been said that worrying doesn’t eliminate problems but instead makes them bigger, whereas prayer makes them smaller because it helps us to realize we are not facing these things alone, and it turns much of the burden of carrying them over to God and to others whom are praying for us. Don’t worry, pray. And then the second replacement is thanksgiving. Gives prayers of thanksgiving to God. That means that rather than focusing on the things that we are worried about, instead of borrowing from tomorrow, we instead focus on what God is already doing for us in the here and now. And so, to give thanksgiving to God, we have to remember the blessings we have already received.  We have to remember, in the words of someone, that the things we take for granted are the things that others are praying to receive.  The things we take for granted are the things that others are praying for.  That is there are others worried about the things we don’t even really think about anymore.  And so, we change our thoughts of worry into thoughts of blessings, and science has proven this to be effective. In a study from Harvard Medical School they found that those who express gratitude worry less; gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. if it’s from Harvard it has to be right. And so much of this is about a change in perspective, changing how we see the world and the things around us, and what’s happening to us and with us.

And so, I found this video several years ago, which is actually an ad from Australia, but I think it’s a great illustration of this and appropriate for Mother’s Day. (VIDEO)…

What are we taking for granted that others are praying for? What small change in perspective could help us turn our worries into prayers and thanksgiving? Now May is national mental health awareness month, and so by talking about this I am not denying the reality of anxiety, or depression or other things that might make worrying part of our mind’s activities, nor am I saying that if you suffer from one of these that all you have to do is simply think your way out of it. And if you are dealing with mental health issues, please know that hope and help are available and you don’t, and shouldn’t, fight these things alone. But for most of us the worries we have are the worries we bring to ourselves, or make more of than they are, and that we might need to move through to see another way of living. John Maxwell says that worry weakens but faith strengthens; worry imprisons but faith liberates; worry paralyzes but faith empowers; worry disheartens but faith encourages; and worry sickens but faith brings healing.

I read someone this week who said that telling a mother not to worry is like telling water not to be wet. And moms, if you are worried that you are not a good enough mom, that usually indicates that you’re doing just fine. Just like with the other nots we have looked at so far, Jesus is not really saying don’t worry. And Jesus doesn’t say that if you don’t worry that it means that there won’t be things to worry about, because today has problems of its own. But what our worries can do is to keep us from living. Jesus said he came not just to bring life, but life-abundant, and when we spend all of our time worrying, not only do we not add an hour to our life, but it will cause us to have near-life experiences, and that’s not the life God has called for us.

What God promises us, what Jesus promises us, is that God will be present for us in the midst of life, the good and the bad, that God knows what we need, that God knows what all of us need, and that God has provided for us in abundance and it’s already here, surrounding us, but we are so often worried about other things that we miss it entirely, and not only do we miss it, but we don’t share it with others.  We are blessed in order to be a blessing.  I think that is certainly a lesson we could learn from our mothers and the other significant women in our lives, who may have felt blessed when we entered their lives, and whose blessings far surpassed in what they gave out to us and the world.  Don’t steal from your future in worrying about tomorrow, instead pay attention to what God is doing here today, add to your blessings today in counting them and naming them and sharing them as we strive not for the things of this world, but for the Kingdom of God and God’s righteousness, to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Amen.

No comments:

Post a Comment