How Do I Pray?

Here is my message from Sunday. The text was Luke 11:1-13:

I remember sitting next to my mother one day during worship. I don’t remember how old I was, but I think I was pretty young, and everyone started saying the Lord’s Prayer and I asked her how she knew it, and she responded with something like “it’s just something you learn.” That memory stands out for me for a couple of reasons. One being that it taught me that there were things that happened in church and you just had to pick them up, through repetition I was guessing. And the second is that it is probably my earliest memory having anything to do with prayer, and in this case a prayer that everyone says together, which is not always what we think about when we talk about prayer. Of course, we do have communal prayers that we do in worship, and then there is the Lord’s Prayer, which we say together each week. But normally when we talk about prayer its about the personal kind, or of someone else saying a prayer that we are listening to. And in that, I’m sure that most of us have probably heard someone praying out loud, and we’ve said “I wish I could pray like that.”

And probably not surprisingly, Jesus was like that. In hearing him praying, which seems to indicate that he was praying out loud, not silently, the disciples come to ask Jesus to teach them to pray. That is, whatever Jesus is doing doesn’t match their own prayer lives, and so they hope to learn something in order to be better. And while we are told many times that Jesus is teaching people things, and he is even called teacher in numerous stories, this is the only time in the gospels in which Jesus is asked to give a specific teaching about how to do something, not just to answer a question. And so that seems to be one of the clues to us not only about the importance of prayer, but also that prayer can be taught, and perhaps that prayer should be taught. That while it may seem to come natural to some people, that if you are not good at praying, or don’t feel comfortable praying, that there is some good news for you, that help, through teaching is available. And because it’s a learned activity that means that you can try new things, question, experiment and even fail and all of that is okay. And so, as we continue in our series entitled How do I…? today that is the topic that we move on to, prayer.

Now I could have started with prayer, and perhaps I should have, but one of the reasons I didn’t was because I know that we have talked about prayer, and the need for prayer, and how to do certain types of prayer, and so I didn’t want to start with something that many of us have been told or taught how to do. But if you paid a little bit of attention, you will note that I did mention for both worship and reading scripture that they need to involved prayer. And that’s because prayer is central to who we are as a people and what we do. In the values we have articulated as a church, prayer is second only to be Christ-centered. In the membership vows, pray comes first. Richard Foster has said that prayer “ushers us into perpetual communion with” God. It should be one of the primary ways that we center and focus our lives, our faith lives, and it is the way we seek God’s will for our lives and the world and it is one of the ways that God will use to transform us. And so that means that we need to be praying all the time, or without ceasing as Paul writes, which also means that prayer has to be about more than just what we normally think of as prayer, which is usually someone talking to God, and maybe, occasionally listening to God. and the short part of that story means that just about everything can be turned into prayer; and that comes with attitude and intentionality. Gardening can be prayerful, dancing can be prayerful, cooking can be prayerful, paying bills can be prayerful. If the intention through these acts is to give praise, or seek guidance, to lift up concerns to God, to connect, or be in communion with God, then these can be prayerful activities. But, just as a warning, those are higher level prayer activities, not things you necessarily want to do when starting out your prayer life, right? That’s trying to hit a home run, rather than simply trying to put the bat on the ball, eventually go for the homerun, but at the start try the simple things. But, before we get into that, let’s just briefly mention what prayer is not.

Prayer is not a vehicle to get from God whatever our heart desires. Now you can pray to God to win the lottery, or to get a beautiful spouse, or to get than new car that you covet, but it’s not going to happen and it also distorts our relationship with God. And it does so because it treats God, as Bishop Willimon has said, as a cosmic butler whose job is to be at our beck and call and grant whatever we ask for. But that’s not God being God, or us serving God, but God serving us with us being in control. Plus, it usually leaves people believing that prayer doesn’t work because God never grants those prayers and so obviously the prayers don’t work. And let me say this is nothing new, if the letter of James, he says “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, in order to spend what you get on your pleasures.” And so, there is nothing wrong with taking those issues to God and telling God what’s bothering you and where you are struggling, turning those burdens over and seeking God’s guidance. But there is a huge difference between seeking God’s guidance and telling God how God could solve the problem, because that is then giving God guidance.

And if we want to know the very simple truth about how to pray, it’s simply just to do it. Like anything that you might want to learn, there is some study that can go into it, but until you just start, then you’re not going to get it. Many have heard me say this, but how I learned to pray in public was that I said I wanted to go into the ministry, and suddenly I became everyone’s designated prayer, and while I can say that I was not thrilled by this opportunity, it did help me immensely. So, if you’re concerned about praying in public, ask God to call you out and then simply step out of the boat like Peter did. And yes, it’s possible you might begin to sink, but Jesus will not let you drown, and you only get better by doing it. And if anyone complains to you, simply tell them that next time there is an opportunity to pray in public that you will make sure they get called on. That will stop that criticism immediately. And the truth is I’ve not heard anyone do that because everyone else is simply saying “thank God I didn’t have to pray.” And that in itself is a prayer.

And if you want to do prayers in your personal life, the same is also true. Just do it. Don’t think about it, and you don’t have to follow any of the rules you might think are there, because those are some of the ways we seek to make prayer too complicated, sometimes so that we won’t have to do it. Just simple start talking. And a great way to do this is to do what’s called a burst prayer or a flash prayer, which is just a short prayer in the moment. So, for example, you hear sirens going by and you simply ask God for protection and safety for everyone involved. You see someone having a bad day, you ask God to carry them. You pray for the workers wherever you go thanking them for their work, asking to keep them safe and to help them know they are appreciated. Nothing difficult, just pray whatever comes into your mind, and you’re saying these to yourself, not out loud, and you don’t have to tell them. These short prayers can help you get in the habit of praying, get you in the habit of praying for others, and help to open yourself up to being present and letting the Spirit occasionally lead you.

So, a little more complex, but still simple to help you remember are two other prayers often called the ACTS prayer and also what is known as the 5 finger prayer. ACTS stands for adoration, contrition, thanksgiving, supplication. So, we start the prayer with adoration, and that’s adoration for God, not about ourselves. Often this is an attribute of God, or something about God. contrition is saying where we have fallen short, or naming the areas of brokenness in our lives, and then asking for forgiveness, and being willing to accept that forgiveness. Thanksgiving is what is says, giving thanks to God for what’s happening, making sure to name people as well as things and situations. And then finally supplication is bringing requests to God for others and yourself, and definitely should include seeking guidance and God’s will.

The five finger prayer is very similar, and comes from having your hands in a typical prayer posture in front of you. And so, starting with your thumbs, which are closest, you pray for those closest to you, family and friends. Because your index finger points the way or give directions, you pray for those who teach or heal. The middle finger, standing tallest, we are called to pray for leaders in government, business, the church, or whatever leaders you might want to lift up. Now, this is my own take on this, we are also called to pray for our enemies and those who hurt us, and since how we use this finger in the US, you could also use that to remember to pray for those you would prefer not to pray for and instead show them that finger, which could also include some of our leaders. Then the ring finger, which is the weakest finger, helps us to remember to pray for those most in need, the sick, the poor, etc. and then finally the pinky, which is farthest from us and the smallest we use to pray for ourselves. Those are sort of really easy places to start praying and to remember different pieces of prayer.

I quoted the theologian Soren Kierkegaard when we were talking about worship, but he also has a lot to say about prayer, and he said, “ A man prayed, and at first he thought that prayer was talking. But, he became more and more quiet until in the end he realized that prayer is listening.” And so, another way to pray is to be silent. If one of the goals of prayer is to hear God’s will or guidance, then we have to shut up long enough for that to happen. And so being silent, or as Psalm 46 says, “be still and know that I am God,” is a form of prayer. And I know that this can be very hard for some people, so practice it. There is a form of Christian meditation, whose goal is not to empty your mind, as Easter meditation does, but instead to seek to fill it with God. to hear God speak in that still small voice. But listening also involves seeing where else God may be speaking to us in our lives. That someone else may say something that is God speaking to us, but please use your reasoning around this. Just as an example, if you’ve been praying about financial issues and you get a phone call about refinancing your mortgage at a great rate, or an email from Nigeria that you’ve inherited money, those are scammers, not God.

And if you are someone for whom sitting still and silent may be really hard, I want to close with one final type of prayer, and that is an embodied prayer, or a prayer that involves you whole body, and let me throw out using other senses in prayer as well. I’ve already said that gardening and dancing and walking can all be a prayer form, but I’m going to give an example of an embodied prayer that you can use, and there are lots of different ways to do this. Just do a google search for others, or speak with me and I can help. So, I’m going to ask you to stand as you are comfortable, although you can also do this sitting down I would encourage you to move to the edge of your seat, and you’ll need to spread out a little bit, and I would ask all those worshipping online to also participate. And so, we extend our arms out asking for God’s blessings to come to us, and we receive those blessings and pull them into our chest, and then we know that we are blessed so that we can be a blessing and so we then in turn spread those blessings out to the world, and then because we been a blessing, we ask again to receive the blessings and keep doing it. And as you do this you can be silent and simply listen, or give thanks and ask for guidance, whatever you are needing, but we keep going through this cycle…. (you may be seated)

So, let me conclude with this: Prayer is to connect us with God, and while we often hear people say that the answer to every prayer is yes, no or not yet, that’s actually not correct. Because what Jesus tells us in that passage we heard today, which gives us a version of the Lord’s Prayer, is that Jesus says that every prayer is answered. Every single one, because when we go to God in prayer, we, in turn, receive the Holy Spirit. The Spirit comes upon us, or we might better say is renewed within us every time we pray. So, go to God in prayer, ask, seek and knock, and when you do, God will send the Spirit to guide and lead, heal and help, advocate and influence, connecting us with God and connecting us with one another as we seek to do God’s will in our lives and the world. I pray that it will be so my brothers and sisters. Amen.