I recently attended the ordination service for the new UCC pastor in town, and one of the speakers said something that I am still trying to digest, and certainly am not yet living into. The speaker was giving his charge to the congregation, and he told them why they needed to support the pastor not working too much, taking a sabbath, taking his vacation and taking time to be with his family. He said, you are not doing this for the pastor, although he certainly benefits, but you are doing it for yourselves.
Someone had once told him, which totally changed the way he did ministry, that if he was not taking care of himself and setting a proper example for the congregation about proper work-life balances then what chance did the congregation have? And so he said, the congregation has to make the pastor do this, and the pastor has to do this, so that the people can have an example to see of how it might be done.
They all know, or at least some of them do, that there is always lots of work to do and by taking time off that means that some work is simply not getting done. That of course is what drives so many of us to work so much. We simply believe that if we don’t keep working that things won’t get done and everything will then fall apart, and so we have to work harder. But that is not sustainable for anyone: the pastor or the church.
As I’m looking at the hours and days I have been working lately this has certainly been rattling around in my mind. I’ve had one day off in the past month, and that was because I took one Wednesday off, and I still did some work directly related to the church. As I write this I am sitting at a conference on a Saturday, which I am supposed to have off, and so I really need to start learning to set boundaries and say no.
Serving a congregation which has lots of people who over function in their jobs, how do I change what I do so that I can set the example for the rest of the congregation? I don’t know. I’m still struggling. And how do I get people to truly understand what this means and why I am doing it, and what this means for them?
John - Thank you for sharing this challenge. It is important to take time off. One day off in the past month doesn't sound like much fun. My wife recently read Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins When Family and Work Collide? and found it to be simple and helpful.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I keep track of "half days" worked - morning, afternoon and evening and graph the weeks over the year. This appeals to my data head and helps me recognize if I am feeling tired, there is a good reason.