I'm sure this will come as no surprise to most people, but most professional athletes are extreme narcissists. I might even venture a claim that every professional athlete has narcissistic tendencies that are greater than the general public. Most of this is not their fault however because they have been trained to be narcissists by nearly everyone in their lives from the earliest days that they showed skills greater than the normal youth athlete.
In addition, for many of these athletes there have not really ever been serious consequences for their negative behavior. Instead they have been coddled and protected for nearly their entire lives. When they have done things wrong people have made excuses or looked the other way. It is little wonder that so many athletes at college and in the pros get into trouble, because they never expect to get into trouble. Even when they have it happen once they certainly don't expect it to happen again.
One of the areas that again and again gets athletes in trouble is women. They have little experience being turned down and even less being rebuked, and so when they don't get things their own way they act out in negative ways. We need look no further than Ben Rothlisberger's problems, or those that Brett Favre is now being accused of.
Favre is the perfect example of narcissism gone wrong. Every year he is able to keep everyone begging at his door to come back and play and he is able to stay out as long as he wants to with no consequences. Instead everyone fawns all over him and are so grateful that he deigns to stoop to their level to even talk to them let alone play for them. He is coddled and protected by everyone from the front office to the coaches and most especially the media. It is pretty rare to hear any criticism of Favre's behavior over the past few years. The two who stand out for consistently calling him out are Michael Wilbon and Gregg Easterbrook. Unfortunately they are only two small voices in a much larger cacophony of adulation.
So it would not surprise me at all if Favre actually did what he is being accused of. At this point all there are is accusations and it is still not clear if the woman who supposedly received the inappropriate texts and images will even cooperate. And here is the true tragedy of the situation: If she does cooperate you can be pretty sure that any career she might have wanted to have in professional sports would be over. It might already be over for even having this information brought to light.
Many people are now saying that she must not have been offended by this information at the time because she didn't complain about it then. That is such a false argument on its face, that it shows they don't understand the seriousness of the allegations or the situation. Again, if she, as an employee of the Jets, had brought allegations against their newly acquired future hall of fame quarterback who was finally going to deliver the Jets their long awaited Super Bowl trophy, what do you think would have happened to her?
I'm pretty sure she would have kissed her job good bye. She would probably have been ridiculed and attacked on every front and by nearly everyone, including her employer. That is what sports teams usually do, although we are seeing a positive change on this, and quarterbacks are protected even more than others. This is not some third and long pulling guard, this is Brett Frickin Favre. I'm sure she feared for her job and her reputation, and I'm sure she still does.
It does not surprise me that she didn't say anything, and, if the allegations are true, it wouldn't surprise me if there are others out there who have experienced the same behavior from Favre. These are seldom isolated incidents. Instead they are patterns of behavior that have never been corrected, but instead tolerated, and this is true for more than just athletes.
We need to wake up to the enabling behaviors that we as a society give to professional athletes (and politicians and musicians and actors, and... and... and...), and realize that in order for their abhorrent behavior stop we have to stand up and stop it. And this must happen much earlier than when they cash their first paycheck. It needs to happen in youth sports, high school and in college, and we need to hold the adults in their lives accountable as well.
When Urban Meyer at the University of Florida can get off without even a rebuke for the behavior of his players (19 players have been charged with crimes since 2005. Many of them have been charged multiple times) then there is no incentive for him to step in and do anything, nor is their any incentive not to recruit athletes with troublesome pasts. I believe everyone deserves at least a second chance, and sometimes more, but unless someone is willing to say that this behavior will not be tolerated and there are consequences then the behavior will never change.
In addition, we are well past the point where we can just say "it's just boys being boys." Sexual harassment not only shouldn't be tolerated, but it is illegal. Although this is not being charged as a sexual harassment case, that is certainly how it appears, because through his alleged actions Favre had the potential of creating a hostile work environment. The simple fact that the alleged victim probably did not feel safe in bringing any charges against him, shows the power differential that existed and allowed this behavior to exist.
If Favre is cleared of everything, this does not change his overall narcissistic behavior nor does it change the reality of the situation as it currently exists for most athletes. It would be just as easy to replace Favre's name with any other of thousands of athletes (and politicians, etc.) who exhibit the same abhorrent behavior. It is past time for us as a society to stand up and say that this will not be tolerated, because until we do, nothing will change.
Until we say that we will no longer buy the merchandise or attend any game for any team or league that tolerates this, then it won't change. Until we say that we will no longer vote for any politician, no matter how much we like their policies, who exhibit this type of behavior then it will never stop. And until we say that we will no longer pay to see any musician or actor who exhibits this type of behavior it will never stop.
Until we stand up and hold people accountable for their actions and say we are not going to tolerate it any more, then we are just as guilty as they are.
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